stacy's diary 1
by thelovelyflorencelovett
Summary: This is the next chapter for my wntw dramas
1. stacy's journal 1

from the online journal of Stacy London

...a few times i noticed that i loved Clinton but Clinton hadn't noticed me "crushing on him. Having to keep it professional is easy on camera but what people say off camera gets to me sometimes. There are suddle hints like smiles, gazing into his eyes, and facial expressions. One of the few times times i notice a stronger connetion was when Ellyn Ia contestant that lost 120 pound) said that we were sweet, wierdly related, because we finished each other's sentences. Many people have commented on us in that way but she met us before we put he behind the camera. I don't know what it is but somthing about Clinton makes my heart beat faster. I don't know why he is always similing at me (tho I have heard him and his girlfriend fight about me then agian who am i to complain?) He is so happy to see me all the time. He is such a great suport after mark and I broke up I acually asked clinton out after wards i was just ...just so afraid of never being able to fall in love agian with my job and all the rumors about clinton and I (tho i had no problems with rumors i have delt with them my whole career) this has been giong on for to long (my crush on clinton) and i still have to talk to clinton about that pix of me sleeping wht my black cats.

i'm altamitly okay with people talking about me like :

The host of TLC's "What Not to Wear" stopped into Butter milk Channel in Carroll Gardens to say hi to friends who were having brunch — and, according to our spy, "Her thong [under wear] was hanging out of her pants and a tag was sticking out from the thong." Guests were star ing at London, who fixes ward robes of women all over. London's agent didn't return calls and e-mails."

and i know the only reason both clinton and i aren't dating is becuase we're scared of jeperadising our friendship and our jobs which i respect that but i don't see why it has to hold us back

well it's late and i have fashion trashing in the morning...

LOVE ALWAYS,

stacy london


	2. Chapter 2

Dear journal,

One thing I've learned over the years is DON'T TALK IN YOUR SLEEP! I was sharing a room with Clinton, my boy friend Mike, and Clinton's girl friend Marissa (the shlub) I guess in my dreams I was trapped or some thing so I was calling Clinton (not smart( so in my sleep I was talking (saying "Clinton, Clinton") that did NOT end well… Clinton came in my room and asked if I was okay I WAS STILL SLEEPING which he didn't know but mike and Marissa did, god did mike and Marissa get mad at me. But Marissa won't leave Clinton and mike believed my story. In 2005 when marc and I (marc is my ex –boyfriend) broke up, Clinton was so nice he helped me through it (even when I asked him out) he is so nice (I just can't help thinking he wants me as more than just a friend, too) I just can never figure out if he's coming or going… we had lunch today like we planned and he totally avoided the subject we were i.m. ing about what he was going to tell me. Those blue eyes could kill me if he looked at me ling enough they are so beautiful it's just so difficult to say "no to them I have an early morning tomorrow (meeting Clinton for breakfast with the shlub he wants us to he "friends"

NIGHT

LOVE ALWAYS,

Stacy London


	3. Chapter 3

Dear journal,

I haven't talked fully about the Marc story yet. He always got mad at me; he thought I was "sneaking around with Clinton." Clinton won't even HUG me with Marissa or Marc (or mike for this matter) in the room. God, it just hurt me so much. Anyway, the day started out fine, the same as usual anyway. Marc asked me what my plans were for the day and I told him I had a meeting with Carmandy, Nick, Jennifer, and Clinton (Jennifer is the director) and I was going to go out to lunch. He already knew it was with one of my girlfriends but he asked me anyway he also asked me if it was Clinton. (This goes on a lot) and I told him it was Suzan. And he got off my back (he as happy that the only time I would see Clinton that day was when I was being "chaperoned" by the "gang") so I asked him what his issue was with Clinton he said "I just think you shouldn't hang out with him so much… what does his girlfriend say?" then I told him that Clinton had known his girlfriend so long it didn't matter, ODVIOULSLY there was a little to much disappointment in my voice because he got mad (as usual) so I went out of the hotel room. The meeting was fine (just fun hanging out with the whole "gang") and Suzan and I always have fun talking (she hates Marissa and thinks Clinton is crazy for not going out with me) so after words I did a little shopping and went home. Marc was still at work (I thought) so I just watched some TV. THEN, marc came home (obviously had been drinking with some buddies) and he yelled at me a little, I told him to shut up because he was drunk and them he like blew up. He was very unhappy with me because he thought I was hanging out with Clinton "again" I explained to him that what he was saying was COMPLETELY and UDERLY unreasonable because I had told him this morning what my agenda was for today. He yelled some more and then BROKE UP WITH ME. AFTER THAT, he kicked me out of the hotel room.

While outside the hotel room I started crying because I never like fighting. So their came Clinton to the rescue, he asked me what happened he looked so concerned, it killed me to have him worry so much about me. I tried to tell him it was only a fight but I was crying to hard. So he PICKED ME UP and carried me to his hotel room. He calmed me down and asked me what was wrong, I told him what happened and he is such a good listener. We watched a movie on the couch. I was shaking so much over the events of the day. He put his arms around me and I buried my face in his shirt (I love his cologne) and we eventually fell asleep. In the morning, MARISSA came to return my shoes what possessed her to come to Clinton's room I don't know but she did and not thinking (I was still asleep) I said come in, she screamed and to make matters worse Marc came in, too. They yelled at us and Clinton got really angry at Marc because Marc was giving me crap about TRUST! Clinton explained to him that he broke up with me last night. HE apologized all over saying how much he didn't mean it but I couldn't go back (he has raised crap before but never kicked me out and I wasn't going to stand for it.) Clinton looked relieved that I didn't take Marc back. Clinton has always resented marc because of his "issues" with himself (as in Marc hated Clinton) Marc stormed out and then it was Marissa's turn to take a crack at me. I just kind of ignored her, Clinton reasoned with her. After she left, Clinton turned around and asked if I needed a hug, I said yes and so we hugged. Then, he took my chin and said "there's someone out there for everyone." He saw that I wasn't very convinced (and on the verge of crying again) but he didn't want to argue so he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my hair once again I buried my face in his chest. I wanted to tell him I loved him, wanted to tell him I couldn't live with out him because he and I both know that we are each other's "other halve" but I didn't it wasn't worth another lecture or heartbreak. He told me (joking obviously) that I've got to find someone else for our double dates (especially one he gets along with.) then a serious face covered his usually goofy smiley face and he said, "You will find that right guy, you are a great person and any guy would be lucky to have you." His face softened again and gave me a quick hug then he was off to see Marissa (knowing she was mad at him still) I apologized for causing trouble and he took my face again and said, "When you hurt I hurt, you're my best friend. I wanted to cry myself when I saw you soooo… torn apart." He is the best friend anyone could ever have. I know he feels the same way I do but I can't help feeling there could be something more.

Love always,

Stacy London 


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

It's sad and depressing when so many of those Stupid icon boxes on the computer tell about your life

Ex.) "It fells so good standing next to you b/c that's the closest I'll ever get t o you"

What would you say if one day I went insane and told you I loved you; would you laugh and walk away or say you love me too?

I want to get in your head to kick the words you won't say out.

When people ask if we're dating it kills me to say "no we're just friends

Okay okay… I'll stop listing you get the point. But seriously it's kind of depressing. I mean (btw this is from Glee) have you ever loved some one so much that you wanted to lock yourself in your room and turn on sad music and cry (me either)…But I…I just, god I love him it's so hard to see him with Marissa. I should be grateful that I have Mike…really I feel like I'm being ungrateful a bad girlfriend….and slightly trampy. I don't know why, I keep telling myself telling my brain to stop loving him he doesn't feel the same way, but apparently my heart is as stubborn as Clinton tells me I am! I guess I really just have to get over him… but it will take my heart some convincing; D lol (oh god this is how the internet affects that people who didn't grow up with it) I guess what I'm trying to say is I MIGHT give up on Clinton.

Love always,

Stacy London 


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Journal,

God, It's so hard working with Clinton! I mean for one he's "okay" with Mike I still feel tension between them. Two, another thing is his blue eyes, don't get me wrong they are GORGOUS, but it's just how the y soften when we fight I can't stay mad at him. Three, and he can do so much better than shlub (Marissa) I hate her (and I don't really know why…) I mean don't get me wrong, I respect his decisions, he's my nest friend. I just think he can do better. Four, his parent's love me they asked me to "steal Clinton away from Marissa" I told them I'd try, they (obviously) hate Marissa which makes me laugh they LOVE ME! Five, it hurts me when he tells me how … how much he "cares" about me, WELL I'm RIGHT HERE AND HAVE MEEN FOR SEVEN YEARS NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR AN INVITION? WELL I INVITE YOU TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME YOU IDIOT! Six, He thinks well… I don't exactly know but when we're together my heart beats faster. (his does too SOME TIMES) what annoys me the most is…I love him!

Love always,

Stacy london


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